Sunday, January 15, 2012


I've found that as my belly growth is steadily progressing I've decided to start calling myself a backwards turtle. That's what I look like. How sexy is that? I mean don't get me wrong, I think all pregnant women are beautiful, but how I feel about myself...
I'm a bit off balance, parts are growing, I can't wear cute thongs or any cute underwear anymore for that matter, boobs are getting so big the only thing that can hold them up is a super bra I made outta heavy duty duct tape! And with the size of my growing body, it's made shaving, showering, even wiping my butt a little difficult! How's that for feeling sexy? I do still attempt to squeeze my ever growing ass into skinny jeans on special days but then I start getting gas pains and really regret my decision. What's a pregnant lady to do? I'm trying to maintain my dignity over here!

Here are my top tips for still being sexy while you're a backwards turtle:

1. Shower Daily--sometimes you're not gonna feel like showering, but because of your growing belly and boobs you need to. There's gonna be extra cracks and crevices and if you don't get in can get smelly.

2. Shave as much of your legs as you can (if you're comfortable get your man to help)--I am personally not okay with my husband shaving my legs. So I do as much of it myself as I can. This way once the baby is born and I get back into regularly grooming I won't have to bust out the weed whacker to take care of it!

3. Paint your nails (fingers and toes if you can)--I decided to paint my toenails and it was a little uncomfortable, I didn't do an awesome job, but I really did feel much more feminine and sexy after I was done. I also did my fingernails and felt equally as hot, although I just slapped clear polish on there. Again, if you feel comfortable get your man to do this stuff for you. But if you're comfortable with that you're also probably comfortable with sucking toes, which I ain't down with! There's also the option of going to a salon and getting these things done, I'm just cheap. One more thing...when using polish do it in a well-ventilated area and don't sniff the polish you freak!

4. Always brush your teeth--I shouldn't have to put this one on here but it's easy to be lazy when you're pregnant. So always go to bed with freshly brushed teeth, it's also gonna help make sure you don't get bloody gums and look like you're a vampire sucking on a fresh victim.

5. Makeup and eyebrows--These are probably 2 of the easiest ones. Keep your brows groomed, and apply makeup whenever you're leaving the house. It really will make you feel sexier and your husband will appreciate it. Save the scary makeup free face for days you're staying at home in your sweats.

6. Wardrobe--Invest in a few good maternity pieces. I have the advantage of wearing scrubs to work (awesome!), but if you work in a different setting get at least 1 pair of pants that are maternity and comfortable. I continued wearing my regular jeans with a Belly Band until the band started cutting into my love handles and making me look like a tube of vienna sausage. Then I gave in and got 1 pair of maternity jeans, and it's made such a difference! They are comfy and I feel better wearing cute sweaters and little cardigans with tanktops. If I'm just running out for quick errands I'll wear sweats, but at least make sure they are clean and match. While I do think actual maternity clothes are very expensive I've found ways around it. Buying stuff in 1 size larger than you normally wear is a good option. I've got a few sweaters and shirts that will get me through til summer gets here and then I can wear more dresses. Tanktops with cardigans are another option, as well as sweater dresses with tights. You don't need a ton of items and since shoes will still fit, I always try to wear heels when we are out and about. I feel alot sexier and although I've almost toppled over a few times it's worth it!

Hope you all had a great weekend, and remember BACKWARDS TURTLES CAN BE SEXY TOO!

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