Saturday, December 24, 2011


Hope everyone's enjoying the holidays. We are taking it super easy and doing not much of anything at all. Today our old neighbor stopped by with crack in her hands. NOT REALLY crack, but man this stuff was addictive. It was a little pretzel, with a melted Rolo on top, and a pecan shoved in the middle of it all. Seriously I ate like 10 of them, I was so stuffed I didn't even eat lunch today. So if you don't want to be completely addicted, don't ever eat this combo of yumminess ; ).
That's all, now for a quick nap with my hubby!
Merry Christmas Eve y'all!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Any of you pregnant ladies out there worried about romping between the sheets while you're preggers? Well we were. Oh no I thought to myself...nine months (potentially longer, depending on how I felt after giving birth) of blowjobs and handjobs? (Ewwww!)
There must be a better way!
Despite hours of reading and research I could find nothing other than yes it's okay to have sex while pregnant. Okay but what exactly does that entail? If my husband "goes" inside me can I still get pregnant again? Or should we resort to "going" on my giant belly? Or in a towel? What to do? For the first few weeks we resorted to doing nothing. Abstaining from all sexual activity. Which was actually extremely hard for us, considering we're newlyweds and hadn't been knocking boots before marriage.
Here's the lowdown on the plug. It's a wad of mucus that plugs up the cervix during pregnancy. I like to think of it as a little cork, like in a wine bottle...hmm maybe that's just because I like wine. But duhhhhh I'm not drinking it now because I'm pregnant, so I'll just keep dreaming about it! Okay back to the mucus plug! This little cork protects you and the baby during pregnancy...nothing can go in or out. Apparently the plug looks like a big booger (awesome, because I love boogers!), so when you lose it be on the lookout for a big booger coming outta your hoo-haa! When you lose your mucus plug this is called the bloody show. Doesn't that sound so disgusting and repulsive. And now ladies and gentlemen, let's tune it for the BLOODY SHOW! Yuck! So to save my stomach from puking this morning I'm going to call it popping the cork! When your cork pops, the plug will come out followed by more mucus. When this happens your cervix is softening and you're beginning to dilate and soon it'll be time for the BABY SHOW!
But don't get too excited...apparently once the cork pops it can still take hours, days, even a few weeks for that little rascal to make his way into this world.
Anyways, although this mucus plug sounds yucky, after learning about this, my husband and I are free to knock boots any which way we'd like! And you should too!
Feel free to tell me your cork popping experience!

Sunday, December 18, 2011


So I'm actually pretty pissed that noone ever bothered to tell me that one of the effects of pregnancy is constipation. Sure I heard about morning sickness, headaches, tiredness (none of these did I ever experience thankfully!). But full on constipation, nope never heard a single word about it!
Dear friends who already have children, thanks for telling me! (b**ches!, jk, sorta)
Okay let me back up a little bit. No pun intended.
Before I got pregnant I had a morning routine...wake up, lay in bed, think about my day, get outta bed, then drink coffee (made by my dad, then later my husband, because when I make coffee it looks like something dug up outta the yard with hot water poured on it, and tastes equally bad). I'm definitely a morning person, and I thoroughly enjoy my morning routine. Even though I used to start work at the buttcrack of dawn, I still love mornings. Back to my routine. About 3/4 of the way through my cup of coffee I'd feel it. The sweet sensation of something brewing in my tummy. A little tickle. But I knew my morning was off to a great start. I'd make my way to the toilet and let it all out. I achieved complete satisfaction knowing that my entire days worth of eating from the day before was completely outta me. It was like a clean slate you know? Can't start the day holding on to anything from yesterday, ANYTHING! Ahhh so there I was for so many wonderful years, clean slate every morning. I love pooping so much that when I got married my husband and I frequently shared our poop stories, oh and sometimes we even didn't flush, just to compare poops. If that's not love I don't know what is?
Upon getting pregnant my morning routine pretty much changed overnight. One morning I woke up and didn't feel that urge. Maybe it was the lack of caffeine, but whatever it was I had to get relief!
I consulted the internet and talked to everyone I possibly could. I tried the powdery orange stuff for people who wear Depends and are 100 years old. I tried Bran Flakes, eating extra fiberous foods (which was awesome when I still didn't poop, because then I just woke up looking like I was 8 months pregnant. every. single. day.). I tried extra water ( I think at one point I was up to 16 glasses a day ( so I managed to look like an 8 month pregnant fish!). No relief at all! When I finally did feel that little tickle in my tummy...I'd shout THERE'S A PARTY IN MY TUMMY!, and run to the bathroom. I'd be so excited, it's the moment I've waited for all week! I'd push and grunt, there'd be so much air coming outta my tush I'd swear I could power a hot air balloon...and then when it was all said and done, I'd sneak a peek between my legs (IF YOU TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU DON'T DO THIS AFTER POOPING, YOU'RE A LIAR! EVERYONE DOES IT! BUT YOU CAN TRY TO TELL YOURSELF YOU DON'T IF IT HELPS YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT!) And there in my toilet would be nothing more than 2 or 3 little marble sized pellets. So all that work for this little pay off!...yep this is definitely not working for me after 15 weeks!
I would whine and whine about my problem to my husband but much to my dismay he would leave his poops in the toilet just to rub it in my face!!!
So I finally found the perfect relief and I'm going to share it with you all now. For free. No need to buy a book, or talk to a doctor, here's what worked for me. I cut my prenatal vitamins in half and take one in the morning, and one at night. I eat a Fiber One bar before bed (any flavor is fine). And I promise in the morning, your colon will be clean as a whistle.
That's all for now, I'm off to eat my Fiber Bar and head to bed!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Today was my technical 2nd day working. I woke up feeling pretty sluggish, so hit the snooze button for another 30minutes, the extra sleep reallllllllllly helped!
But today was just one of those baby orange feels GIGANTIC!!!! my boobs are HUGE, and my skin is breaking out super bad! Whatever happened to having the pregnancy glow?!?!!??
I am thankful though for no morning sickness, actually no sickness at all. And while I did feel slightly tired today, I was able to get a good amount of things done on my list, and take a walk. I did not make it to Toys R Us though. We've got to get a gift, and I'm trying to think of the best time to make it to TRU. So far I've decided anytime after 3pm isn't good. That's when all the crazy moms who've left work early are there.
I'll be one of them one day...